Well, after the long fight with my mom earlier today, obviously I was pretty mad afterward, and things got a little better after. Driving always have made me feel better when I'm down. I don't know how, but I guess the sound of my music and the engine and the adrenaline you get when you speed are the things that comforts me. So ya, I had to go to work tonight so obviously I had to drive. I actually love my job. It's also another thing that makes me happy. Not only you make money, but I just love everything about it, especially the people I work with. So ya talking to my coworker tonight really made me feel good not only because she's cool and all, but I actually had someone to talk to about my issues that's been going around me lately and she was kind enough to listen to me and well talk about it. I got to thank her for that because it made me feel a lot better. So I guess the best way to release your anger, and I don't know, depression or any kind of negative energy that have it in you is simply by just talking about it. Let it out. Never take it out on someone that wasn't involved. I hope I didn't do that to my coworker  haha. 

  Oh and then I had a game tonight. We lost 4-3. That was our first loss this semester. The thing about me and hockey is that it really resembles my life. Every game, I'd be really happy and excited and all, thinking that I'll play hard and push my limit. And guess what? I never do. I would think I tried my best, but at the end of the day, when you think back, I did not. Not even close to what you call 'your best.' I have never even reached my limit, I just complain about my skates, or shin pads, or my stick and whatnot. And at the end of the game, I get pissed off and frustrated for my lack of result. It seems like I do that exact same thing with my life too. I'd start things nicely, and then I get lazy as fuck, and procrastinate and everything just falls apart. Then at the end of the day, I'd always get pissed off at the result or the outcome or whatever. I've been having problems with 'commitment.' I'd plan things out, whether it's studying or doing homework or going somewhere or even asking a girl out (especially this one because I'm afraid of getting rejected haha), but I'd never do it because I can't commit to it. And every time, I get soooo mad for not doing it. I gotta get my head back in the game. It's never too late to make a comeback. I've got lots of time to do it. All I got to do is just commit to it and push it like I've never pushed before. 

  Inspiration, motivation, and determination. They are exactly what I need right now for next 4 years. And I hope I know how to use it before it's too late.