Today was finally a weekend after a long week (actually every week seems long). Today was kind of a special day though. My dad actually came home from Netherlands after about 4-5 months of absence. Even though he's going to be staying here for a week and a half, I was glad to see him again. I know he's probably going to lecture me sometime soon about what I have and/or have not done while he was gone, but he's my dad. What else is he going to do, right? I guess I'll take whatever punishment he's going to give me, because deep down, I kind of deserve it. So ya, next week and a half should be very interesting. Whatever happens, I hope I keep my cool and not snap.
I've waited all day to talk to Anastasia today but she was never on Skype. Maybe she's mad at me for falling asleep last night instead of calling her. But she did say she's going over to her boyfriend's house for supper and he lives like 2 hours away from her house so maybe that's what happened. She had a lot of problems with her boyfriend, so I kind of hope she's solved those problems tonight, because it was pretty much her only chance to make things right. On the other hand, deep down, I really want her to break up with him so I can talk to her more. I don't know, I didn't think I'd actually fall for her since we were talking over internet, not face to face, side by side. I really missed her today. I really missed her smile which always made me happy, and her annoying questions. I thought she was pretty obsessed with me because even when I'm not talking to her, she never wanted to leave and not talk to me. Instead, she'd start the conversation again. At one point, I was pretty annoyed that she would not leave me alone, but now I realize those were the good times, and it made me really happy. Until I get a real girlfriend (real by meaning the one I can actually hang out and such), I do not want to lose her.
I might've said this before, but a lot of my friends talk to me about their relationship. Like break-ups, problems, and etc. And they think my advice really helps. I don't know if they meant it or not, but I think that's a good thing, right? It's funny because I've actually never been in a serious relationship, and my last one failed horribly, which only lasted 1 week. Anyways, so ya, I'm kind of glad that my advice and comments help them, and I actually learn more and more about a relationship from their stories so I guess we are even haha.
I just realized, I've been single for too long. That means I've been a loser and a loner for the past how many years. I think it's time to change my relationship status on Facebook. It's time to change something in my life. There's always been at least one girl that I always want to ask out, but I've actually never did ask anyone out because I'd always pussy out. I just really hate getting rejected. It's embarrassing, and I don't know if I can handle that 'pain.' And plus, sometimes you lose that person as a friend too if you ask them out. Things get pretty awkward. So I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I think asking a girl out is like gambling. If it goes well, then congrats, you win, but if not you lose everything, like the girl you like, and your confident, and the happiness. A lot of people say, 'it's better to know what it's going to be instead of wondering what it could've been like.' or something like that, I'm sure you've all heard of this before. And that is definitely true, you will never know what's going to happen unless you actually go after it. That's what I'm going to do now. There's a girl I've been wanting to ask out, and I'm going to man up and do it. No bullshits, and no excuses. It will happen. I've been a free agent for too long, I think it's time to sign a deal real soon.
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