So I found out few stuffs about what happened last night. Alger and Kyle got home safely, which is really good. I was glad nothing had happened to them. Secondly, Shayne and Brooke fucked again last night. I'm a little upset about that. I mean, 2 weekends in a row? Come on, I have a problem of my own, which happens to be a girl problem, and he's telling me all this, and made me feel like shit. I felt like shit already, and he just made it worse. Lastly, I found out that Shayne and Jessica talked last night. Apparently it wasn't a long conversation. That's what Shayne told me, but what he told me after that made me think it was. At least it was longer than what he told me.

   So this is what I was told by Shayne. He was with her alone and tried to talk to her, and apparently he asked Jessica what she thought about me. Then she said I was a nice guy and was about to say something else but apparently me and Kyle interrupted. Alright, at that point, I believed what he said. Then after that, he told me not to get my hopes up. He said she's kind of jumpy or whatever. I was like 'whatever,' I was too depressed to care and I wasn't really listening to him that much. 

   My old friend from high school, Krystal, texted me while I was talking to Shayne. It's been a while since I talked to her so I thought I'd text her back and start a conversation. Guess what we talked about? This. She said she'd help me out, so I thought, why not? I mean, talking to Shayne about it usually helps, but it didn't really do any good today, and plus I'd like to get some help from a girl since it's a girl problem. I honestly don't remember half of what she's told me, but it was really helpful. I think just talking to her really helped. It was really nice to talk to her. I really miss her though. We used to be pretty good friends back then, then I asked her out, and it just wasn't the same anymore, but now, it feels like we are back to being friends again just like back in the days.

   I thought about all the things I talked about with Shayne and Krystal just now, and something does not feel right. Especially what Shayne has been telling me. The fact that he only talked to her for like 2 seconds, and now he's telling me not to get my hopes up and she's not the one for me and all that shit? He's not telling me something. I know it. He's done this to me before, I'm not dumb. So I'm thinking Jessica either said that she doesn't really like me and wants to stay in the friend zone, or she likes Kyle. That one sounds kind of random, but I think she does. She looked really happy and had a lot of fun with kyle last night. I remember that look on her face. So ya I definitely think she said one of those two things to Shayne last night, and he didn't tell me today because he know it will hurt me. I wish he'd told me though. Or maybe he wasn't lying and that's really what happened.

   I don't know what to do. I like her more and more everyday, but at the same time, things get worse day by day. I really don't know what I should do. Why does this happen to me all the fucking time? I can't handle this anymore. I have to end this. Soon. Fuck today was a terrible day. I don't think I was ever like this before. I mean, I've done few things I normally don't do today, trying to make me feel better, but it got worse. I really hope this doesn't go on for days and weeks. Why is it that a girl is a biggest problem I have right now? I got other things to worry about that's way more important. Fuck, my life fucking blows.