Saturday, April 16th, 2011, Day 16. Well I started the day off pretty great. I talked to my dad on Skype this morning and he decided to let me do whatever I want to do next year, except I still have to satisfy with him with a couple conditions. I hate not having any freedom, but what choice do I got right now? So I have agreed on those conditions and I'm going to make it happened this time. Then the day just went downhill.
Hockey was great. I'm not gonna complain about that. Detroit won 4-3, Montreal won 3-1, and LA won 4-0. Buffalo lost 5-4 but it was a pretty close game. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed all the games, although I missed like half of both Detroit and Buffalo's game because I was cleaning the house.
So ya, I wanted to study a little today, but it didn't happen. My friend Jen has been over at my house for past couple nights now, and she needed to work on her essay so I dropped her off at the library, then I thought, since I'm already out, I went to Joseph's, the guy I buy jerseys off from, house and picked up 2 jerseys. It was a Steve Yzerman and Sidney Crosby jerseys. I love it. Then when I got home, that's when the day started to go downhill and made me pissed off. First, I put my jerseys on top of my mom's van, which was in the garage, to go check out my car, which wasn't in the garage, but then I decided to also put my phone on top of the van instead of putting it in my pocket. So when I came back to get my jerseys after modifiying my car a little, I completely forgot that I put my phone on top of it, so when I grabbed it, the phone just fell and hit hard on the ground. It would've been fine if it landed on the back side, but it decided to land on the fragile side. So now I have to pay $50 to repair my phone screen. Good thing it's an iPhone though, or otherwise it would've cost me a lot more. So I was pretty upset about it, but I can't really blame it on someone else but me so I got over it pretty quick.
I figured I haven't done any cleaning in my house since my mom left, I thought I'd clean the house for a bit, you know, not a hardcore cleaning sesh, but just a mild one so that nobody thinks we are filthy. That went quite well. Some things kind of really pissed me off. There were random shits everywhere in the house. If you are not the one who's cleaning the house, the least thing you could do is put everything back in its places or put the frigging garbage IN the garbage can. My room was the easiest one to clean though. It was dirtier than the rest of the house, but I think it was because I was the one who used it, and it was me who didn't keep my room clean so that didn't make me mad at all. So after a good hour and a half, I had to go pick up Jen from the library.
That also made me pretty upset. We ended up stopping at the Sherwood Park Mall because she wanted to stop at Chapters and get some book. I didn't really mind that. I mean I wanted to watch the game, but I can afford a couple minutes to lose, it wasn't a big deal. So ya, so far, so good. Nothing bad happened. Then she decided that she wanted to stop at Shoppers which was right beside the Chapters, and she said she wanted to get some ear plugs. That did not make sense to me. My house is 2 story house with basement. If she think she's going to get distracted by me watching the game, then she could either go up or down, she didn't have to stay with me on the same floor. So that kind of bugged me a little. Then it turned out, she was looking for something else as well, and then she told me that I was stressing her out because I was following her around. Okay, I have 2 problems with that comment. 1) Where else would I go, and what else would I do there? I don't need to buy anything, she's the one who needs to get something. I don't get that. She's not the only one. Everyone tells me that I annoy them because I follow them around. Then don't fucking ask me to come with you if you are going to complain about it. I don't go with them because I like to, I go with them because I don't want to say no when they ask me. 2) I understand that she's been stressed out because of school. I totally understand it. I don't know what it's like to write how many essays in how many days, and whatnot, and I probably would never want to know what it's like, but I understand that she's going through rough time. I'm not dumb, I can see that. But why did she have to take it out on me? I didn't do nothing wrong. She just made me feel bad about what she's upset about. That's when I kind of lost it. I tried not to show my anger to her, because I know she didn't really mean it, and I didn't want her stress to get worse. But still, I wasn't very happy with that.
I just thought of this, but I don't understand why she's staying at my house. I mean, she did tell me that she was lonely so I thought I'd just support her and at least tried to make her feel better by going to the campus at like 9 at night. I was fine with that because I was watching hockey all day that day, this was last thursday by the way, so I thought this was also going to be a good chance for me to study a bit. And it did go well, I got some studying done, and I don't know if I made any difference to her feelings and whatnot but it went well. When she asked me if she can stay over at my place, I said yes because I thought it might make her less stressed out and I couldn't really say no. And it hasn't really been that great so far. She just made me really frustrated and angry. I feel like I was almost like a maid at my own house. Can you imagine that feeling? It's not that great.
I've been friends with her for a quite a while now and it seems like I've done a lot for her. I'm not saying they were great, but I mean, I've done things for her because she's a friend of mine and I take friendship serious, and I thought doing things for her could maybe win her heart, but I was wrong. I feel like I pretty much wasted my time. I've spent money on her, I've burned my gas on her (you know they ain't cheap these days), I've cover her shifts for her for weeks, and I let her sleep at my house to make me feel better, and I think about it now, it wasn't worth it. I really liked her. I liked her so much I wanted to hang out with her all the time. I even wanted to ask her out, but this weekend just wiped out all that thoughts from my head. I mean, why would I do something for someone to get nothing back? I do nice things to people because I believe that maybe someday, I know they will do the same for me, but no, all I got was just a complain about how much I'm stressing her out even more, and how I was driving like 45 on school zone. She probably didn't want to be like this this weekend, but I don't know, it wasn't fun for me. I just can't believe that she's doing this to me after all I've done, and I'm just shocked, speechless, and a little bit mad. I think it's safe to say that I'm ready to move on. I know I'll make a lot of great friends next year, so why not start a fresh friendship while I'm starting something else fresh, like my academic life?
No comments:
Post a Comment