Time For a New Chapter in My Life

   So what a hell of a weekend it was. 2 weekends in a row! For those of you don't know what happened last weekend, so not this one we just had but the weekend before, I slept with Sam one night and my parents somehow found out about it and they flipped out at me the morning after. It was very embarrassing and awkward. I felt bad for Sam.

   Last night, Sam invited me to go see a Avril Lavigne concert. I've never been to a concert in my life so she decided to take me. Everything was going fine until about 11:30 pm. I texted my sister to tell mom that the concert is not going to be done for another half an hour or so, which was true, and then I told her that I'm going to stay over because that way I could get more sleep rather than having to drive all the way back to Stony Plain then drive back to Sherwood Park which is going to take about an hour and 20 minutes. Then my mom calls me and she was all upset with me because apparently she checked the internet and found out that there was no concert today. What!? What is this? She thought I was with Sam the whole time, which is true but I never told her that who I was going with so that was my bad, but why?? She didn't believe that I was at a concert, she probably thought I was sleeping with her again. Then she tells me how we weren't done talking about what happened the weekend before, in fact we haven't even started talking about it. WTF.

    If they want to talk to me about what's been going on with me and Sam, sure, I'll talk about it. It's not like I've done something wrong, or gotten her pregnant or anything like that. If you got something to say to me, just say it, don't wait till something else happens. I think I'm going to have to start talking to them today. I can't hide anything anymore, there's too much drama going on in this house. Why can't they just accept the fact that I'm 20 now and I am capable of making my own decision?

   I am getting kind of fed up with all this. Sometimes I feel like I'm just being used by my family. Do you know that feeling? When your family only talks to you when they need you or when you do something wrong and then they just don't give a shit about you and treat you like shit all the time. That's exactly what I feel like everyday. Especially with my dad. It seems like he's trying to 'buy' love from me. He never talks to me unless he needs me or when he's mad at me for something, then he tries to buy me all these shits. It's not like I asked for them. Yes, I talk about how much I want this and that, but that doesn't mean I want him to buy me all that. It just doesn't work that way. 

   So, my final decision? I am going to move out as soon as possible. I know it may not be the wisest decision seeing that I have absolutely no money at all, and I have never lived on my own before in my life, and I'll probably regret it in the end, but it's going to be a lot better than being stuck here where I get no freedom whatsoever. It has to happen sooner or later anyway. I'm not 100% sure if I'm ready for this or not but I can say that it's definitely a good time to start a new chapter in my life.

   I don't care what my parents say about Sam, I love her as a friend and she's a great friend and I can't thank her enough for what she's done for me. I'm not going to lie, I am very surprised that she's still helping me with my problems, and hell, I'm surprised that she's still even talking to me after what we've been through. To me, she's a perfect definition of 'true friend.' I honestly don't know what I'd do without her. I realized she's one of few people that makes me happy. I am lucky to have a friend like Sam.