Day 2: All By Myself

   It's almost been 24 hours since I moved out and I can't really tell if I'm enjoying it or still upset about it. I guess I could I have mixed feelings about it. I already feel terrible that Sam has to put up with me for the next few days, like drive my ass to everywhere and whatnot. That's a lot of effort and she's definitely sacrificing her time for me too. I'm really glad that she's nice enough to provide me with a place to sleep and shower and transportation. It's really not something that's not easy to do.

   So me and Sam decided to pick up the rest of my stuff from my house during my 3 hour break today, and honestly, I was pretty scared to go back. Not because of my mom or anything like that, but because I know my mom threw all my stuff out the front door and was scared that they might still all be there. Well, turned out my parents were nice enough to pack all my stuff up for me and even took the bed apart. It was all set up and ready to go. I honestly didn't think my mom was going to let me in the house that easily but oh well. 

   My original plan for today was to call Todd and ask him if I can borrow one of our work trucks for the day and get all my stuff out of the house, but unfortunately, all the trucks were being used today so that was a no go. So I had to bring as much stuff as possible in a tiny ass Dodge Avenger. At least I brought some stuff back though, right?

   While I was there, I had a little talk with my dad. A very brief one. It was a gooder too. I thought he was going to yell at me too, but it was exact opposite. The first thing he asked me when he saw me was if I found a room for a rent yet, and I told him that I'll be checking out one of the rooms tomorrow and see where that takes me. He also told me this: Moving out and living on your own is not that easy as it sounds, especially if it's your first time. He also told me not to take whatever mom's been telling me in last few days too personally and at least try to talk to her every once a while. Also, if I ever get into trouble, financially, he will help me out and if I ever wanted to move back in, I could. You know, he's been telling me that he will not support me and I won't be able to move back in ever if I ever decided to move out, and I know he meant that, but I guess he saw the mature side of me at some point last night, and maybe today and I think that's why he changed his mind. I could be wrong, but I noticed how my dad was trying not to cry and he's trying to stop me from moving out. I appreciate that, but I already made up my mind and I'm going to stick to it.

   I can't remember if I mentioned this last night, but I have my reasons why I wanted to move out. It's not because of my mom and how we've been fighting and whatnot, it's just that I feel like I'm too spoiled and I'm not sure if I like that. I want to live on my own and teach myself some lessons and feel what it's like to live on my own without having anyone to depend on but myself. Maybe I could get rid of my laziness from this. Maybe I'll actually be more committed to school. Maybe I'll finally learn how to spend my money wisely. Those are the main reasons why I wanted to move out. I have been planning for this for quite a while now, and I didn't expect this to happen all the sudden. Well, what can you do? Life is full of surprises. It's unpredictable.

   I know for sure this will be a lot tougher than I expected, I can feel it already, but I really hope that I can pull it off. With a little help and a few advices from my friends, it will definitely be a lot easier. I don't know, we will see how things go.

   P.S. My mom told me today that I 'moved out,' not got 'kicked out.' Hmm funny, because she told me that if I stayed over at Sam's house on monday night, she said she'd kick me out of the house, and I agreed to it. I don't know, what do you think? Because there's definitely a difference between those two things. I didn't technically volunteered to move out, she brought it up first and I agreed with her. Oh well, it don't matter anymore. What's done is done. Don't look back and keep walking forward. Oh, also, Shayne wasn't too happy about this either. He was right. Everything is going to change. I have no car so unless someone drives me, there's no way I could get to Sherwood Park to see most of my friends. This is going to be a bigger adjustment than I thought it was going to be.