Love Story

   I just watched a movie called The Secondhand Lions tonight. It was one of the movies Sam lent me to watch and since I had a day off from work tonight, I thought I'd watch it. It was a one good damn movie. I loved it. See, when you look at its cover, it's really not one of those movies that grabs your attention and say, wow that looks like a really good movie, but it really was a really good film.

    Now, I couldn't help but notice, why is it that there's always some sort of love stories in every movies? You know, normally I'd be okay with it, in fact I know it kind of sounds gay but I love movies with love stories, especially chick flicks. I enjoy watching them quite a lot actually. The love story in this one was fairly minor I found, but I just could not stand it. I guess I'm living without my family now and me falling for Sam has a lot to do with it. 

   I look back in the past, and I truly have been heartbroken so many times. There would be a girl I really like every year, and I fall for them and when I do ask them out or try to go further than just friendship, I get totally rejected, and when I don't go for any of that, I beat myself up for not trying, or get scared of rejection. My love life has never reached a happy ending so far in 20 years of my life. Sam definitely is the closest one I should say. And yet, we are still friends. 

    Sam definitely is one of the closest female friend I have at the moment and I really wish I could date her right now. I really do. I realized I'm the happiest when I'm with her. That means something, right? Yet again, I am very scared to ask her out or even tell her how I feel about her because I am very scared of getting rejected, and I really do not want to lose her as my friend. Should I risk that and ask her? Or just stay as a friend? If I choose to just stay as friends, then I know for sure that I'll beat myself up for not doing anything about it. I am already getting there. As of right now, I am still going to tell her how I feel about her even though there's a really good chance that she will break my heart. But then again, you'd never know unless you try. Maybe good things will happen and there could be a happy ending to my little love life. 

   Actually, I have been trying to tell her for weeks now and I keep making excuses and don't do anything about it. It's probably not the first time you've read about this on my blog. With the situation like this, I really have nothing else to lose. Now let's actually man up and get this over with.